It's not me. It's you.

Dear Tourist Family on the Uptown 1 at the Staten Island Ferry Stop,

I just wanted to clarify what transpired between us this afternoon. I am sure that you’ve gone on your way under the impression that what they say about NYers being rude is true and I didn’t want you to leave our fair city with such thoughts in your head.

Here are some important facts to remember and take with you in your travels.

1. You were on a crucial part of the public transportation here in The City. You were on the subway; a general admission, often standing-room only, subterranean train system that acts as sort of a through line to the various themes of this city. Thousands upon thousands of people us the subway each day to get to and from the various parts of their lives.
2. There are many doors to the subway and people enter them at will (stops permitting). It is our right as fare paying patrons of the MTA.
3. Similarly, it is our right as fare paying patrons of the MTA to sit wherever we can find a seat in which to (comfortably, but this is not always the case) fit ourselves.
4. You saw me enter the train. I could tell that you did. Each member of your family sized me up and transmitted the feelings about what you saw to each other on your faces. You judged me. It’s okay, it happens everyday. I judged you.
5. What was problematic was the fact that when you saw me enter the train and struggle to make my way to an available seat you did not bother to move your outstretched legs. Not a one of you. You all stared at me and did your best to let me know that this was YOUR section of the car that you reserved and that you didn’t take kindly to my trespassing. To which I reply: see 1 and 2.
6. You allowed the small child that was with you (I’d say aged 7-9) to use the train as a jungle gym simultaneously further blocking my progress.
7. You encouraged said child’s behavior by having Grandma snap pictures of him.
8. You reacted defensively when presented with the politely veiled contempt of the other passengers as they were similarly barred from free passage on the train and subjected to outside voice squeals.

I do not know how to further make you understand how inappropriate and patently impolite your behavior was. You looked like the kind of people who would raise a holy hell (heh! Holy. Hell. That’s what… an oxymoron?) if a person entered the house and forgot to take their shoes off. You struck me as the kind of people who’d be shockedSHOCKED if their “Thank You” was not countered with a “You’re Welcome.” In short, you appeared to be the type of people to whom manners and social appropriateness are very important.

I hope that you can understand that commandeering a busy subway car for your lounging and play-scaping desires is quite the faus pax as far as we NYC subway riders are concerned. I hope that you can understand that when I glared at you as you wouldn't move your legs and then said, "This is public transportation not a monorail at Disney," I wasn't being rude. I was responding to wanton breaches of etiquette.

Thanks for your visit.
Next time you should consider the taxi.